How to Not Be a Recession Bridezilla

Having a wedding during a financial crisis requires some particular sensitivity to how much you are asking your family and friends to shell out. A lot of brides are constantly bombarded with news about budgeting their wedding, but it's nice to remember that your bridesmaids and guests are also trying to budget. I was inspired by my gazillion friends getting married next year to offer a few tips for being economy-conscious about your big day:

1. First of all, it's time to face the truth: No one really cares that much about your wedding except for you (and hopefully your significant other). Once you realize this, you'll be able to enjoy your wedding and be voted Bride of the Year by all of your friends.

2. Seriously, choose a good dress. It's the Law of Bridesmaid Dresses: Every bride always says they are going to pick a dress their bridesmaids can wear again, and every bride inevitably does not. I don't know who decided that bridesmaid dresses need to be ugly, but someone started it, and it was a slippery slope. The coolest brides let their bridesmaids choose their own dresses or at least solicit significant input from them. Bridesmaids shell out a lot of dough for the dress and the fitting; the least you can do during this recession is let it also be the dress they can wear to a black tie event. Also, making people wear the same shoes is only OK in tap-dancing recitals.

3. Understand rejection. It used to be considered a huge slap in the face to turn down the role of bridesmaid, but that is becoming increasingly necessary as people can't afford to shell out the hundreds of dollars it can cost. Also, young people are dispersing all over the country (especially in my home state of Ohio), and it's very hard to make it back for every wedding because of finances and vacation time. Do not be offended when your friends can't be in your wedding -- or can't attend at all. It doesn't mean they don't still love you.

4. Nix the tacky money-collecting tactics. The following are always tacky, but especially tacky during a financial crisis: Dollar dances (you are excused if you are Polish). Collecting money for the bride's hairdo at the wedding shower. Collecting money in a money tree at the reception. Anything that involves collecting money in general.

One thing that isn't tacky and might be helpful for those of you trying to scrounge money for the honeymoon anyway: Allow guests to contribute to your honeymoon fund instead of buying a gift. That way you don't end up with a bunch of kitchen stuff you don't need. Try the free honeymoon gift registry Honeyfund.com.

5. Tone it down. Who am I to tell you you don't deserve a wedding in Hawaii? However, 2009 might be the year to consider taking it down a notch, at least if you want people to still love you. You've stood by while others enjoyed the bridal perks, so it is your rightful turn. However, maybe you could make sure your bridesmaids know you don't have to have three wedding showers and you are OK if the bachelorette party isn't in Vegas. Of course, it's mostly up to them to plan it for you -- but taking some of the pressure off will make everyone have a better time.

6. Throw a good party. A lot of twentysomethings groan about all of the wedding gifts they have to buy every year, and that's the way it goes. But how can you lessen the blow? Make it a worthwile party or don't have one at all, even if you have to slim down the guest list. And I'm not talking about party favors (which will be thrown away) or even the most expensive venue (so overrated). I'm talking about giving your guests some good food, music and drinks to remember (or not remember).