Digital "Friendship"

I am lucky that social networking keeps me in touch with all of my friends and enables me to have a strong digital brand. However, I have to admit there is a downside of feeling spread too thin by relationships. There, I said it: I am the jerk who is willing to complain about having too many friends. But hear me out: I promise it is more nuanced than that.

About a month ago I decided to weigh in on Jeff Jarvis' post on his blog BuzzMachine about online friendship. Like many people, he seems very positive about the possibilities of online friendship. I tend to agree with everything he says, but I also have thoughts to add.

As someone very tuned in with the digital world, it might surprise you to hear some of the drawbacks I see in how Facebook can overextend my life. (By the way Facebook friends, please do not feel offended. I am overextending your life too, remember.) I am still a Facebook devotee, but here are just some thoughts we also need to consider when revering digital culture. Here's the comment I left in response to Jarvis' post:

I really appreciate the thoughts, and agree with much of what you are saying. I should probably read your book as well.

I am very typical Generation Google, with oodles of digital friends and connections dating back to preschool on Facebook. However, I’m going to be a grump about it and point out the downside. As much as I want to believe that the natural ebb and flow of friendships will somehow evolve to make digital friendships manageable, I am not seeing it yet. I love my friends from all over the globe, but the truth is I can’t keep up with all of them!

Let me clarify: I am not saying I don’t like digital connections — I am an online journalist, so this is imperative — I mean that the digital universe keeps me in touch with “real life” friends probably more than it should. For instance, I wonder if I’m really supposed to know that some girl I sat next to in English in 2001 is pregnant.

For one example: Try moving to New York City as a member of Generation Google. The minute your Facebook location switches, there’s about 100 requests from “good friends” all over the globe saying, “Hey, haven’t talked to you in a while, but I had so much fun the time we visited Spain! Maybe I could come visit you?”

I know I sound like a jerk for complaining about having too many friends, and I’m working on limiting how many people I really have intimate connections with. (And in case you are wondering, I just say no to a lot of the people that want to crash on my couch.) And to be fair, I’m sure no matter what time period I’d live in, I’m the kind of person that has the problem of spreading myself too thin, so it’s a personal problem to work on.

I just wanted to point out the flip side of things, which is that over-connectedness is going to be a challenge for my generation.

In conclusion, our generation has an immense opportunity (one I am enjoying right now) to participate so fully in this digital universe. Yet, like anything, the opportunity comes with some baggage -- let's call it a "happy problem."