Most working brides spends 10 hours a week planning their wedding, according to a recently released survey by ForbesWoman, TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com.... I know, I mean, who the heck has time for that? It turns out they do it on company time, which most of us who've ever worked with a bride know: Almost 90% brides admitted to planning their weddings on company time, and one in three felt their workplace performance suffered because of it.
The survey looked at more than 1,000 working women (most of whom are college-educated, live in the U.S. and make more than $70k). Of course, most of the survey respondents came through TheKnot.com — so, presumably the sample skewed to the bridezilla side. I hope a regular sample of women would give me more hope.
Let me clarify: I'm not totally disappointed by my fellow women, but I'm kind of turned off by this complete obsession around one party and the continued female responsibility to plan it, even though most of us have careers. It's true men are more involved, but 90% of respondents said their fiance spends less planning time. Women still bring this on themselves/succumb to the cultural pressure to do it (OK, and maybe even enjoy it).
I'm certainly not anti-marriage or anti-wedding, but it seems like the tradition has gotten out of hand, turning into a big boring hobby for so many people. We shouldn't have to decide whether to have a life or plan a wedding.
Now, about that maid of honor speech I need to write...
Photo by Shelley Panzarella
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2 comments:
Ellie, if you really think about it, I bet 90% of women would say they'd freak out or expect their wedding not to live up to their hopes if their fiance's spent the majority of the time between the two planning it.
If my girlfriend let me plan out future wedding, I'm willing to guarantee it would be 0% what she wanted and I'd have to live it down for the next forever. We learned a long time ago that the wedding is the bride's day and to go along with whatever she wants. Do you really think we care what color the bride's maids dresses are or how many tiers the cake is? No, I just want to know how many friends I'm allowed to invite and where it is and whether we can have a band or a DJ.
Oh yes, you are very right... And that's exactly why I'm slightly fed up with the tradition.
The gender roles are messed up to begin with. First, maybe some men would be good at/would like to plan a wedding but culturally we have pushed them out. Second, there's plenty of women (like this one) who don't think it sounds very interesting to plan a wedding, just like I don't think arts and crafts are interesting. Am I supposed to care about how many tiers the cake is? Because I don't.
But with that said, I'm sure when it happens, I'll rise to the occasion and be super obnoxious -- I just hope you can really do it in under 10 hours a week.
Thanks for sharing the guy's side:)
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